Time

Time flew again for me. It has been hectic for the whole sem break that I didn't feel rested at all. None except the past 2 days. In which I finally got the rest that I needed. For the coming semester.

The whole semester break was just waking up to go to lab then going back to sleep and then going back to lab again. Not to mention the plethora of different problems arising not just scientific problems but also people problems. With so many things happening around me ...

I forgot.

I forgot which things actually matter, I neglected people, went back on my own philosophies. I forgot what fun feels like, I forgot the meaning of humor. I forgot my friends, I forgot my family. All there was in mind was the project.

Slowly, it engulfed me. I'm losing myself ... bit by bit.

Not able to take it anymore, I stopped for these 2 days .. and enjoyed myself. Free to do whatever I like with no obligations whatsoever. It was rejuvenating. I remembered how freedom feels like. Freedom can actually be self-obtained. I mean other than those living in war-torn areas and under tyrants .. The rest of us here can actually be free of everything. Only if you want it and able to let things go.

I was free to be inspired, to be awed. Really, it's hard to fill a cup that is already full. =)

For these few days, time does not pass so fast anymore. Every minute counted. Every minute is a joy to go through. I've truly learnt how to appreciate every minute of the day. Let's hope this little pit stop is enough. There is a whole semester lying in front of me. Night

Change of heart

If it was just 5 minutes earlier .. it would be a completely different post and it will be a password protected one too.

Whatever is happening to me. I hope it's going to be over soon.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

I hope.

The past half year

I was going to write this post yesterday but then got distracted with the Airasia zero fair promotion >< Didn't book the tickets for Bali yet .. If any of my coursemates are reading this please understand =)

It's been more than half a year since I've stopped writing. The usual reasons stopped me again but mainly it's laziness. Countless times I've wanted to post an update or a thought but ended up not doing anything about it .. Been putting a lot of things off besides blogging like cleaning my room, packing stuff, studying (which I am putting off NOW, I should be reading for the upcoming Animal & Plant Genetics) and then I decided for the 2734561823853276 time that I wanted to change. AGAIN. And then perhaps sometime down the road I would just put off that "change" thing I'm trying to do. I do that A LOT. To those who can dedicate their lives to something and finish it till the end. I salute them. My hangat hangat tahi ayam personality = major failure.

Woke up late again today, and my study mood went down the drain. Exam weeks are filled with all type of emotion really. They are torturing in the sense that you have to worry for the next paper and yet it gives you hope for the day the exam is over. And yet sometimes when you're lucky you get a lot of days off in between papers which make you don't wanna study at all and in the end you will end up regretting for not studying. Not to mention all the stress. Life has been stressful again. It has suddenly decided to throw this to me again after giving me bouts of holidays in which I have finally gotten myself a passport and been to Krabi, Thailand. It is wonderful i tell you






... and the euphoria of actually getting positive results for my thesis project - research are actually very satisfying ! And now the other part of life shows up. There are so many things that are to be done. Trips to plan, experiments to do, friends to find, things to write, things to buy and ...... *sigh* Some of the things which I can actually get up and do something about it and there are things which I cannot do anything about (which are even stressful) *sigh* Things like this saps my energy .... and they make me forget important little things in life like family. I seriously need to start spending more time with them. Enough of rants. Its time to live life =)

I'm going to be late for my movie. Ciao.

Something to say

After leaving this spot for a month plus ... I'm back XD

I was bogged down by lot of stuff, college activities and studies mostly.

Many stuff happened, in a blink of an eye, another semester is coming to an end. I will be taking my first final paper in 11 hours. Perhaps I've gone through too many finals, this time the finals doesn't really make much difference. I'm less nervous about it even though I'm ill-prepared. Or maybe it's the workload that I've been juggling which has numbed me. I don't know. I dislike this situation though. It's like I'm not there and I'm just on autopilot ... like in "Click" the movie.

With all life zooming by past me, I've neglected a lot of things such as family and friends. A lot of little things that are dear to me, I've just put them aside while I try to finish up my stuff. Selfish me. I really respect those people who can do it all. I do know what I should do and I wouldn't wish to put them aside but sometimes, I'm just out of energy and I needed rest. I shall learn to be stronger. And those who've been felt left out by me .. which I don't think will be many =x I'm really sorry but I don't think sorry will do any good.

PS: If in any way I can make it up to you, do tell me ... =D OTHER THAN stuff involving money =D I'm broke.

Imperfections

I've been finding more and more faults in myself these days.

Those that I've thought I've rectified .. will come back to haunt me. Most of the time .. it's when I'm cranky.

I'm really thankful for having friends which can put up with all these awkward mood/behavioural swings.

I'm trying my best. Really. Just would really like to thank you all for giving me chances ... so many of them too =D

I hope my post isn't lame =x

Damn ?

My dad slammed the phone on me. That made my day. Really. What a great ending to a GREAT week.

After going through so long through this "community" and trying my best to help and communicate with them. I'm really fed up. Yes, I've had my memories with them and most of them are wonderful ones. I think I should just let those memories stop there. I've been trying my best to support them the way I can yet every time I feel I'm being used instead of the sense of really helping out. Is this the sense of being in a community ? I seriously wonder now. Maybe I'm being too nice by not pointing out everything point blank. Maybe I'm being top nice by saving them face. But yet ... they don't try to save mine. Being ridiculed at every meeting sucks. They can now go on and be happy among themselves. It's not that I've never tried blending in. But if me joining is such a burden to them then I guess it's best for both parties that we both mind our business from now on.

After such a long time without posting and I have to come back with such a shitty post.

Way to go toma ~

I need more movies to inspire me.

College

As I step through the door of A417 of 7th RC yesterday night I felt a gush of wind. Strong. Wind. And also that familar perpectual whirring of a motor in operation.

They finally installed the fan in my room. Well, my part of the room that is. Now syhwei doesn't need to shiver the night away while maintaining the fan at it's highest speed as I being on the other side of the room trying my best to leech some wind off that solitary fan. Now that fan has a friend.

After finished unpacking, I realised that I left my breakfast back in the car and had to go all the way down to the carpark to get it. On the way back, even got a piece of cake as Tim is celebrating his birthday there. Juniors are all over the place working their asses off for MKC due in these coming 2 weeks. I pity them sometimes with so much to juggle and also don't forget the amount of schoolwork but I still had them to sell dedication for my own project. *sigh* The things I do sometimes .. I don't fancy them myself too but it just had to be done .. which brings me to that thought sometimes.

That thought ... which should be left alone for now =x

I actually switched on the computer to get some reading done for the comings tests and end up blogging. Felt like blogging yesterday but the topic ended up way different ... it's great to have wifi in the room but ... I can't login to msn @.@ well .. you just can't have everything in life I guess xD

Ipoh

Not too long ago, in a not-so-distant land ... there lived a boy named Abu

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He was a good boy .. until he found out he has a sister ... Aminah

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Who still keeps her age-old napkin since her baby days



They had many adventures together, they visited caves

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played firecrakers
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played cards
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the "ong" position

and of course ate together as well

aminah and abu

THE END

Enough about those 2 =x

It's been so long since I've blogged a proper activity. How was Chinese New Year for everyone ? Taking over from where I left off from my previous post .. CNY for me is activities after one another and here I'm going to share one of them.

I visited Ipoh on the 3rd day with my friends for a change. The rush of driving outstation solo for the first time without family ... and poking around a strange town =D it was fun xD although a bit scary at first ... as the house we're staying is quite "inside" the housing area .. but with houses like this

their electric bill must be high =.=

as landmark on where to turn ... it was quite safe =D As I brought my car there ... I get to visit zudian and also suetwah ... bumped into siew chong they all while at zudian's place. =D

We bunked in at kC's place and guess who got to be the maid now ? xD

Maid 001

the real kC at home

Was suppose to be out and about in Ipoh eating all the delicacies there ... but we end up sleeping late ... and playing wii most of the time xD Just a few days, our dear kingsley have became the tennis champ ... dailou the boxing king ... and waiyee the princess of bowling =D Here is the wii moments

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or even better .. a video =D
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they look like trying to fry noodles than boxing to me =x

And how is CNY complete without card games ?


After all that, we revisited our childhood with firecrakers

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circus was in town that night
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satay .. satay .. 30 sen 30 sen !
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dailou very happy
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me very happy too
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dailou (in blue) "aiks ? my one finish d ?"
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it was magical ~
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some god "communicated" with him
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our pretty host
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yeah i know this isn't fireworks but it's just funny xD

Well, we did get to go around to eat the local produce before we head home =D

their taugeh very big one

Our dinner before we head home was the best ! It was cheap and delicious ~ Too bad there isn't any pictures .. everyone was busy eating xD It is located in a housing area so it was quite difficult to find ... well for me that is. I think the locals will have no problem xD I only know it as "big small legs" in cantonese as it's famous for it's chicken and pork legs.

All in all, although we did miss a few things here and there Ipoh is great but ... but ... BUT ... the traffic lights are horrendous !!! It seems that every road there is a crossroad and you have to WAIT FOREVER for the lights to turn green ... and when they eventually turn green, people in front of you will just take their sweet time to cross and leaving you behind as the lights begin to turn red again. Then you wait ALL OVER AGAIN @.@

Before I sign off ... this is something we spotted while we were stopping at a rest area ... hmm ... xD

since when chu cheong fun become long keu tiaw ? hahahaha

I wish

I could sleep the whole day away today =D Woke up and 2pm and still feel like continuing ... >.<

I've been tired for most of the CNY holidays ... it was filled with activities for almost everyday. So today is like off day. I have plenty to update about the ipoh trip but I'm still waiting for the pictures.

All my plans for studying and completing things from my to-do during the holidays is ruined =.= plenty of catch-up to do @.@

And Federer lost ... AGAIN >.<

I should be sleeping now but now I'm having my headache again ... and that to-do list is bothering me again ... >.<>.<

I shall reward myself with a movie and eat then sleep. Good night =D

New Year, Kids and My Mouth

I've actually intended to update the blog for numerous times. Quite a number of things came up and it actually made wanted to blog about it ... but the mood left after awhile. Can't really commit myself to anything much really.

Chinese New Year started out quite dull for me ... but it turned out better than expected today. I can be quite sociable around with people .. other than family. I'm more controlled in front of them >.< A lot of things I've changed but in front of people from my past or I've known for a long time ... the changes just won't register. I just tend to revert to the old me. Perhaps I just can't stand their comments on "Wow, you've changed into blabla ! How come ha ?" hmm ... I'm strange. Anyone else experienced this too?

My uncle's kid can now walk ... it was so funny that he just walks on the carpet and don't dare to walk on the floor. It was like an invisible barrier for him ... until his mom came. The daring-ness suddenly kicked in and he was all over the place =D Kids are cute and fun ... should'nt everyone stay that way ? Kids and I also have a certain attraction to each other. They tend to come to me a lot. They will stare into me with their huge big eyes and drool dripping off their mouths. I would freeze. I just don't know why. No matter how much I would like to go play / disturb them .. I wouldn't know what to do ... I will try to melt my cold cold heart =x Btw, my uncle's kid is really handsome ... I bet when he grows up many girls' heart will melt xD but too bad no photos =( really need to have a camera. But then, I think the laziness in me will kick in and I will find it a hassle to bring it around =(

I've actually planned to use the long Chinese New Year holidays for rest, finish all my pending stuff and also for a little bit of studying. Truthfully, till now I don't even have notes for some of the classes ... and some classes I don't know what the lecturer is talking about. In the classroom, I'm just glancing at the clock hoping the class to be over. Why isn't classes this semester as interesting as the last one ? Tests are coming after the holidays too ...

I'm looking forward to the Ipoh trip xD Finally some adventuring with you guys =D Let us not overdo the drinking part ok King? You shouldn't do shots with a normal house mug. We should invest in shot glasses =D

Before I ever forget .. I've been wanting to blog about this since forever and thanks to that someone who reminds me bout it I'm going to do it now. Have anyone had a perfect day before ? You know .. where everything on that day just seem so right ? Every minute detail .. every event, every person, every word said or heard seems to come out right and on the right time ?

I usually don't have perfect days a lot. The only solution for it is to go to sleep early. Most of the near-perfect days I had is usually spoiled in the end by me ... and my shitty mouth. Just before the day ends .. I would just end up doing saying something stupid ... which made the mood goes south. It would end up me feeling bad the whole night. My shitty mouth doesn't just stop there to ruin my perfect days. It will surface in all sorts of situations. A lot of which I knew I shouldn't do that but ... my mouth goes faster than my brain. This gets worst when I'm cranky or when I'm tired. Shit >.< I'm being more and more of an idiot. I shall now rule my mouth more stringently !

It is here

The chilly winds, hot sun and the quiet-ness of Kuala Lumpur ...

The smell of wonderful cooking, the sounds of laughter and merry making ...

The sounds of delighted young children running around, the voices of aunts catching up ...

The red decorations, the warm ambience ...

The never ending supply of grilled meat, varieties of biscuits and packets of drinks ...

Everyone is gathered back here today ... because it is here.

Happy Chinese New Year !!

PS : Will post another entry later =x rushing for dinner

Her

Finally, I've had my dream of her ... !! While I was having my afternoon nap =D

It looks like everyone already has dreams of her but yet I didn't >.<

What happened during the dream ? ... My secret =x

It's just nice to able to see her, hold her hands and talk to her again.

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I love you mom =D

I HATE

morning jams !!! Got stuck in the traffic for 1 hour and 30 mins for a normal journey which would take 25 mins in normal traffic conditions. Coupled that with lack of sleep and the urge to pee >.< BEST FEELING EVER !

Stupid traffic jams aside, finally my college room is ready. Well, for my part it's tomorrow. They have finally installed the fan on my roommate's side of the room. Mine is going to be done tomorrow. Hopefully. So cleaned the room today and helped my roommate move in. That was tiring. And sweaty. And smelly >.< I also heard my room isn't going to get any wifi signal. Sucks.

Tomorrow, there will be no more searching for food in the fridge. No more cold drinks whenever I want them. No more aircon. But it will be suppers with roommate and collegemates and doing crazy stuff with my roommate again. =D Sleeping with a buddy is fun =x (please don't get wrong ideas =D) and best of all ... NO MORE MORNING JAMS !!!

Tomorrow will be the first practical for this semester too, experiments to run, reports to write, assignments to do, presentations to do ... what is there not to like ... NOT. But moving back into college really does brings back the mood. Now I'm feeling more like studying again. Looking at how things is going this semester, I bet it's going to be AWESOME and AWESOME-er especially with how things is going with coursemates and hopefully collegemates =D

People, I'm back. Hmm ... now what to pack ?

PS: Reminder to self - long afternoon naps make you can't sleep at night >.<

Whaddup UM

Anxious parents, bad jams, teary faces, excited shouts and lost faces.



The ingredients that makes up the first day of school. If you are in primary one.

It was the first day of school for me too today. *sigh* It's been so long since I've touched a pen, sat at the lecture hall listening to the lecture and viewing slides ... suddenly it all seemed alien to me. I fidgeted all the time. I couldn't concentrate. I was just wishing it would be over soon ... until Dr. Hashima questioned, yelled and sighed in front of us. Brought me back straight away ! I just hope I can continue to have the mood for this >.<



So now here I am back in UM facing another sem of assignments, studying, library-ing and kepo-ing. Whaddup UM !

PS : A shoutout to blondie in our class today =x

Stories ? xD

2009 started great !! Although not literally, didn't really slept well on the 1st day of 2009 even though got tired playing badminton and it was raining at night. Plenty of pictures / events flashed through my mind the entire night ... especially Abruzzi's =.= why did u come to me even when you're dead ! Been watching too much Prison Break ad. There are also a lot of random people appearing in and out of my dreams ... I feel rested in a way but it's more physically than mentally. Why is this happening again ?!

Well, despite having not enough sleep ... went on a movie marathon on the 2nd which was great. While churning out incoherant nonsense once in a while and having little headaches along the way it was a GREAT day especially when you have great movies coupled with great company. I really had a great time especially with those "moments-of-paisehness" , I just hope you did too xD

We went to watch Yes Man, Dark Floors and Bedtime Stories. Dark floors was nothing to shout about, the scare was predictable and the plot wasn't really going anywhere. The were too much use of symbolism that it became confusing in the end >.< It was trying to be an artsy movie and a horror movie at the same time which didn't really do it for me. The only reason I didn't sleep through it was because the noise is too loud and the promise of getting an explanation of the events that happened which didn't happen in the end. End note the movie sucked !! This is for those people who is thinking or was thinking of watching it. Just. don't. waste. your. time.

The night ended wonderfully with Bedtime Stories which brings me to a topic I would like to talk about for quite sometime but just didn't know how to put it into words. I will try =D

We often hear people say how much they would like to be a child again or like Peter Pan how they would never want to grow up. Life for most of us I guess, is more wonderful during their childhood years? Why is that? The world seem so mysterious and big when we are small. Every single thing is new to us. Anything can turn into a big adventure from a small toy car / truck (which reminds me I have a fleet of those use to be my pride and joy ... I think I still have the picture =D ask me for it if you wanna see haha). I still remember how a small housing are could turn into a racing track with just me and my bicycle or how it would turn into a safari when trying to cycle through an area with a lot of trees. The power of make-believe ? Life isn't much fun now that we've grown up and we've "been there ... done that" and that we know so much now. I think it's ingrained in our nature that we humans like to explore and discover things. Thats the natural curiousity of children that we all used to have within us or some still have (some define this as kepo but it's a subjective matter).

I think life could be as fun as it was for us during when we are small. The world is just as big and still need exploring. There are plenty things out there waiting for us to do and some may say they don't have the money to do it etc but I say, there are just things that you don't really need a huge inheritance to able to pull it off. Simple things that can be done out of your comfort zone should do the trick such as visiting a place you wouldn't go ? Go on an unplanned trip ( i did this the past sem hols .. it was fun especially without the planning haha) it doesn't need to be far. We have so many states in Malaysia and being in a local uni with friends in almost every state should cut the accomodation costs down a lot xD (i mean well if they are willing to take you in that is). I'm sure it could be worked out. All that is left is whether you're up to it or not. Life can be just as fun as you want it to be even though now that we've grown up and we have to worry about bills, the laundry, college activities, projects to run ... oh well I'm not that grown up yet to have many things to worry about =x Things would work out if you really want it to ... sometimes we just need to have a little faith =D

Oh yeah, and my maid left me today ... so I really have to worry about laundry, cleaning and food now T.T Another step to being independent =x I wonder when can I afford to move into the fortress of Barnitude (my own house) I bet it would be fun ... if only I can master the laundry, cleaning and food thing. And no I would not furnish the house like him. =D especially his collection, I have something better =x

- You don't have to go far to turn a new page in your life - the only important thing on New Year's Day is to wake up -
*from the papers today

First ...

Goodbye 2008, hello 2009.

The first post for 2009. It's actually great to be able to finally say good bye to 2008. It wasn't a great year. It was such a bad year for me that most of my memories about it are vague. I just whizzed through it using auto-pilot. I guess it's my subconciousness doing its job. Suppressing the hard part. Lost my mom, lost a friend, broke up, made a lot of wrong decisions and learnt a lot from it. However, it ended pretty well. It's like finally waking up from a bad dream and coming to my senses again.

The fireworks this year was really AWESOME ... and this is the first time I actually had goosebumps watching fireworks. Maybe it's because of the happy atmosphere created by everyone there.. it felt like home. How I so love Wangsa Maju. We literally have the world at our doorsteps. Transportation was really convenient having LRT and busses, malls to do shopping, mamak and wonderful view of the KL skyline =D Thats where I saw the fireworks xD

I'm having a pretty good feeling that 2009 will love me. It's going to be more studying. It's going to be lots of laughter during lectures. It's going to be fun outings. It's going to be a lot of movie-watching. It's going to be a lot of drinking. It's going to be a lot of singing and dancing. It's going to be fun and games all the way. It's going to be LEGENDARY !! xD

Happy New Year everyone !