Imperfections

I've been finding more and more faults in myself these days.

Those that I've thought I've rectified .. will come back to haunt me. Most of the time .. it's when I'm cranky.

I'm really thankful for having friends which can put up with all these awkward mood/behavioural swings.

I'm trying my best. Really. Just would really like to thank you all for giving me chances ... so many of them too =D

I hope my post isn't lame =x

Damn ?

My dad slammed the phone on me. That made my day. Really. What a great ending to a GREAT week.

After going through so long through this "community" and trying my best to help and communicate with them. I'm really fed up. Yes, I've had my memories with them and most of them are wonderful ones. I think I should just let those memories stop there. I've been trying my best to support them the way I can yet every time I feel I'm being used instead of the sense of really helping out. Is this the sense of being in a community ? I seriously wonder now. Maybe I'm being too nice by not pointing out everything point blank. Maybe I'm being top nice by saving them face. But yet ... they don't try to save mine. Being ridiculed at every meeting sucks. They can now go on and be happy among themselves. It's not that I've never tried blending in. But if me joining is such a burden to them then I guess it's best for both parties that we both mind our business from now on.

After such a long time without posting and I have to come back with such a shitty post.

Way to go toma ~

I need more movies to inspire me.

College

As I step through the door of A417 of 7th RC yesterday night I felt a gush of wind. Strong. Wind. And also that familar perpectual whirring of a motor in operation.

They finally installed the fan in my room. Well, my part of the room that is. Now syhwei doesn't need to shiver the night away while maintaining the fan at it's highest speed as I being on the other side of the room trying my best to leech some wind off that solitary fan. Now that fan has a friend.

After finished unpacking, I realised that I left my breakfast back in the car and had to go all the way down to the carpark to get it. On the way back, even got a piece of cake as Tim is celebrating his birthday there. Juniors are all over the place working their asses off for MKC due in these coming 2 weeks. I pity them sometimes with so much to juggle and also don't forget the amount of schoolwork but I still had them to sell dedication for my own project. *sigh* The things I do sometimes .. I don't fancy them myself too but it just had to be done .. which brings me to that thought sometimes.

That thought ... which should be left alone for now =x

I actually switched on the computer to get some reading done for the comings tests and end up blogging. Felt like blogging yesterday but the topic ended up way different ... it's great to have wifi in the room but ... I can't login to msn @.@ well .. you just can't have everything in life I guess xD

New Year, Kids and My Mouth

I've actually intended to update the blog for numerous times. Quite a number of things came up and it actually made wanted to blog about it ... but the mood left after awhile. Can't really commit myself to anything much really.

Chinese New Year started out quite dull for me ... but it turned out better than expected today. I can be quite sociable around with people .. other than family. I'm more controlled in front of them >.< A lot of things I've changed but in front of people from my past or I've known for a long time ... the changes just won't register. I just tend to revert to the old me. Perhaps I just can't stand their comments on "Wow, you've changed into blabla ! How come ha ?" hmm ... I'm strange. Anyone else experienced this too?

My uncle's kid can now walk ... it was so funny that he just walks on the carpet and don't dare to walk on the floor. It was like an invisible barrier for him ... until his mom came. The daring-ness suddenly kicked in and he was all over the place =D Kids are cute and fun ... should'nt everyone stay that way ? Kids and I also have a certain attraction to each other. They tend to come to me a lot. They will stare into me with their huge big eyes and drool dripping off their mouths. I would freeze. I just don't know why. No matter how much I would like to go play / disturb them .. I wouldn't know what to do ... I will try to melt my cold cold heart =x Btw, my uncle's kid is really handsome ... I bet when he grows up many girls' heart will melt xD but too bad no photos =( really need to have a camera. But then, I think the laziness in me will kick in and I will find it a hassle to bring it around =(

I've actually planned to use the long Chinese New Year holidays for rest, finish all my pending stuff and also for a little bit of studying. Truthfully, till now I don't even have notes for some of the classes ... and some classes I don't know what the lecturer is talking about. In the classroom, I'm just glancing at the clock hoping the class to be over. Why isn't classes this semester as interesting as the last one ? Tests are coming after the holidays too ...

I'm looking forward to the Ipoh trip xD Finally some adventuring with you guys =D Let us not overdo the drinking part ok King? You shouldn't do shots with a normal house mug. We should invest in shot glasses =D

Before I ever forget .. I've been wanting to blog about this since forever and thanks to that someone who reminds me bout it I'm going to do it now. Have anyone had a perfect day before ? You know .. where everything on that day just seem so right ? Every minute detail .. every event, every person, every word said or heard seems to come out right and on the right time ?

I usually don't have perfect days a lot. The only solution for it is to go to sleep early. Most of the near-perfect days I had is usually spoiled in the end by me ... and my shitty mouth. Just before the day ends .. I would just end up doing saying something stupid ... which made the mood goes south. It would end up me feeling bad the whole night. My shitty mouth doesn't just stop there to ruin my perfect days. It will surface in all sorts of situations. A lot of which I knew I shouldn't do that but ... my mouth goes faster than my brain. This gets worst when I'm cranky or when I'm tired. Shit >.< I'm being more and more of an idiot. I shall now rule my mouth more stringently !

I HATE

morning jams !!! Got stuck in the traffic for 1 hour and 30 mins for a normal journey which would take 25 mins in normal traffic conditions. Coupled that with lack of sleep and the urge to pee >.< BEST FEELING EVER !

Stupid traffic jams aside, finally my college room is ready. Well, for my part it's tomorrow. They have finally installed the fan on my roommate's side of the room. Mine is going to be done tomorrow. Hopefully. So cleaned the room today and helped my roommate move in. That was tiring. And sweaty. And smelly >.< I also heard my room isn't going to get any wifi signal. Sucks.

Tomorrow, there will be no more searching for food in the fridge. No more cold drinks whenever I want them. No more aircon. But it will be suppers with roommate and collegemates and doing crazy stuff with my roommate again. =D Sleeping with a buddy is fun =x (please don't get wrong ideas =D) and best of all ... NO MORE MORNING JAMS !!!

Tomorrow will be the first practical for this semester too, experiments to run, reports to write, assignments to do, presentations to do ... what is there not to like ... NOT. But moving back into college really does brings back the mood. Now I'm feeling more like studying again. Looking at how things is going this semester, I bet it's going to be AWESOME and AWESOME-er especially with how things is going with coursemates and hopefully collegemates =D

People, I'm back. Hmm ... now what to pack ?

PS: Reminder to self - long afternoon naps make you can't sleep at night >.<

Stories ? xD

2009 started great !! Although not literally, didn't really slept well on the 1st day of 2009 even though got tired playing badminton and it was raining at night. Plenty of pictures / events flashed through my mind the entire night ... especially Abruzzi's =.= why did u come to me even when you're dead ! Been watching too much Prison Break ad. There are also a lot of random people appearing in and out of my dreams ... I feel rested in a way but it's more physically than mentally. Why is this happening again ?!

Well, despite having not enough sleep ... went on a movie marathon on the 2nd which was great. While churning out incoherant nonsense once in a while and having little headaches along the way it was a GREAT day especially when you have great movies coupled with great company. I really had a great time especially with those "moments-of-paisehness" , I just hope you did too xD

We went to watch Yes Man, Dark Floors and Bedtime Stories. Dark floors was nothing to shout about, the scare was predictable and the plot wasn't really going anywhere. The were too much use of symbolism that it became confusing in the end >.< It was trying to be an artsy movie and a horror movie at the same time which didn't really do it for me. The only reason I didn't sleep through it was because the noise is too loud and the promise of getting an explanation of the events that happened which didn't happen in the end. End note the movie sucked !! This is for those people who is thinking or was thinking of watching it. Just. don't. waste. your. time.

The night ended wonderfully with Bedtime Stories which brings me to a topic I would like to talk about for quite sometime but just didn't know how to put it into words. I will try =D

We often hear people say how much they would like to be a child again or like Peter Pan how they would never want to grow up. Life for most of us I guess, is more wonderful during their childhood years? Why is that? The world seem so mysterious and big when we are small. Every single thing is new to us. Anything can turn into a big adventure from a small toy car / truck (which reminds me I have a fleet of those use to be my pride and joy ... I think I still have the picture =D ask me for it if you wanna see haha). I still remember how a small housing are could turn into a racing track with just me and my bicycle or how it would turn into a safari when trying to cycle through an area with a lot of trees. The power of make-believe ? Life isn't much fun now that we've grown up and we've "been there ... done that" and that we know so much now. I think it's ingrained in our nature that we humans like to explore and discover things. Thats the natural curiousity of children that we all used to have within us or some still have (some define this as kepo but it's a subjective matter).

I think life could be as fun as it was for us during when we are small. The world is just as big and still need exploring. There are plenty things out there waiting for us to do and some may say they don't have the money to do it etc but I say, there are just things that you don't really need a huge inheritance to able to pull it off. Simple things that can be done out of your comfort zone should do the trick such as visiting a place you wouldn't go ? Go on an unplanned trip ( i did this the past sem hols .. it was fun especially without the planning haha) it doesn't need to be far. We have so many states in Malaysia and being in a local uni with friends in almost every state should cut the accomodation costs down a lot xD (i mean well if they are willing to take you in that is). I'm sure it could be worked out. All that is left is whether you're up to it or not. Life can be just as fun as you want it to be even though now that we've grown up and we have to worry about bills, the laundry, college activities, projects to run ... oh well I'm not that grown up yet to have many things to worry about =x Things would work out if you really want it to ... sometimes we just need to have a little faith =D

Oh yeah, and my maid left me today ... so I really have to worry about laundry, cleaning and food now T.T Another step to being independent =x I wonder when can I afford to move into the fortress of Barnitude (my own house) I bet it would be fun ... if only I can master the laundry, cleaning and food thing. And no I would not furnish the house like him. =D especially his collection, I have something better =x

- You don't have to go far to turn a new page in your life - the only important thing on New Year's Day is to wake up -
*from the papers today