Time

Time flew again for me. It has been hectic for the whole sem break that I didn't feel rested at all. None except the past 2 days. In which I finally got the rest that I needed. For the coming semester.

The whole semester break was just waking up to go to lab then going back to sleep and then going back to lab again. Not to mention the plethora of different problems arising not just scientific problems but also people problems. With so many things happening around me ...

I forgot.

I forgot which things actually matter, I neglected people, went back on my own philosophies. I forgot what fun feels like, I forgot the meaning of humor. I forgot my friends, I forgot my family. All there was in mind was the project.

Slowly, it engulfed me. I'm losing myself ... bit by bit.

Not able to take it anymore, I stopped for these 2 days .. and enjoyed myself. Free to do whatever I like with no obligations whatsoever. It was rejuvenating. I remembered how freedom feels like. Freedom can actually be self-obtained. I mean other than those living in war-torn areas and under tyrants .. The rest of us here can actually be free of everything. Only if you want it and able to let things go.

I was free to be inspired, to be awed. Really, it's hard to fill a cup that is already full. =)

For these few days, time does not pass so fast anymore. Every minute counted. Every minute is a joy to go through. I've truly learnt how to appreciate every minute of the day. Let's hope this little pit stop is enough. There is a whole semester lying in front of me. Night

Change of heart

If it was just 5 minutes earlier .. it would be a completely different post and it will be a password protected one too.

Whatever is happening to me. I hope it's going to be over soon.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

I hope.

The past half year

I was going to write this post yesterday but then got distracted with the Airasia zero fair promotion >< Didn't book the tickets for Bali yet .. If any of my coursemates are reading this please understand =)

It's been more than half a year since I've stopped writing. The usual reasons stopped me again but mainly it's laziness. Countless times I've wanted to post an update or a thought but ended up not doing anything about it .. Been putting a lot of things off besides blogging like cleaning my room, packing stuff, studying (which I am putting off NOW, I should be reading for the upcoming Animal & Plant Genetics) and then I decided for the 2734561823853276 time that I wanted to change. AGAIN. And then perhaps sometime down the road I would just put off that "change" thing I'm trying to do. I do that A LOT. To those who can dedicate their lives to something and finish it till the end. I salute them. My hangat hangat tahi ayam personality = major failure.

Woke up late again today, and my study mood went down the drain. Exam weeks are filled with all type of emotion really. They are torturing in the sense that you have to worry for the next paper and yet it gives you hope for the day the exam is over. And yet sometimes when you're lucky you get a lot of days off in between papers which make you don't wanna study at all and in the end you will end up regretting for not studying. Not to mention all the stress. Life has been stressful again. It has suddenly decided to throw this to me again after giving me bouts of holidays in which I have finally gotten myself a passport and been to Krabi, Thailand. It is wonderful i tell you






... and the euphoria of actually getting positive results for my thesis project - research are actually very satisfying ! And now the other part of life shows up. There are so many things that are to be done. Trips to plan, experiments to do, friends to find, things to write, things to buy and ...... *sigh* Some of the things which I can actually get up and do something about it and there are things which I cannot do anything about (which are even stressful) *sigh* Things like this saps my energy .... and they make me forget important little things in life like family. I seriously need to start spending more time with them. Enough of rants. Its time to live life =)

I'm going to be late for my movie. Ciao.

Something to say

After leaving this spot for a month plus ... I'm back XD

I was bogged down by lot of stuff, college activities and studies mostly.

Many stuff happened, in a blink of an eye, another semester is coming to an end. I will be taking my first final paper in 11 hours. Perhaps I've gone through too many finals, this time the finals doesn't really make much difference. I'm less nervous about it even though I'm ill-prepared. Or maybe it's the workload that I've been juggling which has numbed me. I don't know. I dislike this situation though. It's like I'm not there and I'm just on autopilot ... like in "Click" the movie.

With all life zooming by past me, I've neglected a lot of things such as family and friends. A lot of little things that are dear to me, I've just put them aside while I try to finish up my stuff. Selfish me. I really respect those people who can do it all. I do know what I should do and I wouldn't wish to put them aside but sometimes, I'm just out of energy and I needed rest. I shall learn to be stronger. And those who've been felt left out by me .. which I don't think will be many =x I'm really sorry but I don't think sorry will do any good.

PS: If in any way I can make it up to you, do tell me ... =D OTHER THAN stuff involving money =D I'm broke.

Imperfections

I've been finding more and more faults in myself these days.

Those that I've thought I've rectified .. will come back to haunt me. Most of the time .. it's when I'm cranky.

I'm really thankful for having friends which can put up with all these awkward mood/behavioural swings.

I'm trying my best. Really. Just would really like to thank you all for giving me chances ... so many of them too =D

I hope my post isn't lame =x

Damn ?

My dad slammed the phone on me. That made my day. Really. What a great ending to a GREAT week.

After going through so long through this "community" and trying my best to help and communicate with them. I'm really fed up. Yes, I've had my memories with them and most of them are wonderful ones. I think I should just let those memories stop there. I've been trying my best to support them the way I can yet every time I feel I'm being used instead of the sense of really helping out. Is this the sense of being in a community ? I seriously wonder now. Maybe I'm being too nice by not pointing out everything point blank. Maybe I'm being top nice by saving them face. But yet ... they don't try to save mine. Being ridiculed at every meeting sucks. They can now go on and be happy among themselves. It's not that I've never tried blending in. But if me joining is such a burden to them then I guess it's best for both parties that we both mind our business from now on.

After such a long time without posting and I have to come back with such a shitty post.

Way to go toma ~

I need more movies to inspire me.

College

As I step through the door of A417 of 7th RC yesterday night I felt a gush of wind. Strong. Wind. And also that familar perpectual whirring of a motor in operation.

They finally installed the fan in my room. Well, my part of the room that is. Now syhwei doesn't need to shiver the night away while maintaining the fan at it's highest speed as I being on the other side of the room trying my best to leech some wind off that solitary fan. Now that fan has a friend.

After finished unpacking, I realised that I left my breakfast back in the car and had to go all the way down to the carpark to get it. On the way back, even got a piece of cake as Tim is celebrating his birthday there. Juniors are all over the place working their asses off for MKC due in these coming 2 weeks. I pity them sometimes with so much to juggle and also don't forget the amount of schoolwork but I still had them to sell dedication for my own project. *sigh* The things I do sometimes .. I don't fancy them myself too but it just had to be done .. which brings me to that thought sometimes.

That thought ... which should be left alone for now =x

I actually switched on the computer to get some reading done for the comings tests and end up blogging. Felt like blogging yesterday but the topic ended up way different ... it's great to have wifi in the room but ... I can't login to msn @.@ well .. you just can't have everything in life I guess xD